Bad luck comes in threes…

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      I’ve heard that bad luck comes in threes. I just didn’t want this to be the third..
      Yesterday I made the final decision to put my first cat Muffin to sleep. (I got her 18 yrs ago when I was in the 4th grade.)
      For quite a while now Muffin had been getting thinner and thinner. She doesn’t eat much. Even then sometimes she throws it back up or has loose bowels.
      My parents are leaving, as I am, to my brother’s wedding this weekend. They’ll be gone 5 days. They worried that by the time they got back, Muffin would already be dead.
      So when my mom first told me all this on Sunday night, I had to decide if I wanted her buried or cremated. Among all my tears and sobs, I had to make a decision I have been dreading for years.
      When I was last at my parents house before my move to Georgia, I hugged Muffin and said my goodbyes then. I knew I would probably not see her again. I thought that would help heal my pain. But it didn’t. I wish I could be there now, today, when she finally gets put to sleep.
      I had decided it was best to put her to sleep and end her suffering. Muffin isn’t getting any better. Also we wouldn’t be wondering if she’d still be alive when my parents returned home.
      I also decided to have her cremated. I had promised Muffin that I would show her my first house years ago. I had to break my promise because by the time I was about to move into this house, Muffin had gone deaf and she was already starting to get thin then. At least up in CT she had a home she knew and a vet who knew her. I figured that was for the best for her. But if I had known it would be less than a yr later that this would happen.. I may have thought twice about it. So anyway I figure this way I can bring Muffin’s ashes to my house, give her a spot in it, and keep my promise to her.

      This whole thing has wracked my emotional well-being all week long, like giant waves crashing into a cliff. I’ve been sleeping poorly, and my work is starting to be affected by it all. I’m having a difficult time keeping tears at bay.
      The worst part is that Muffin has been holding on all this time. I wonder if maybe she thought I was coming back home. She always did follow me around the house and outside the house. If I was crying she came up and comforted me, even if we were outside. She was my friend when I had none. Maybe if I came home she would have gone in her sleep, content.
      Yesterday while talking with my mom and making the final decision, Muffin was sitting in my mom’s lap. She put the phone to her and Muffin was purring. That just killed me right then and there. She has no idea what’s coming.

      There’s so much more I can say about this and about her, but unfortunately I have to head to work now. I just wanted to type something up about her before I knew she would be gone forever.

Am I the only one who pays attention to ordinary details?

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      So yesterday late afternoon and overnight we had a lot of strong thunderstorms pass through our area. In the afternoon one storm had 2 very loud crashes of thunder that sounded just a split second after lightning flashed. Overnight lightning was seen flashing in our windows.
      Today Giuliano and I went grocery shopping at the local supermarket. They were stocking their freezers around the yogurt and ice cream sections. On the ice cream freezers there was a sign. It started off saying, “Due to the electrical storms last night our freezers our down.” I stood staring at that sign in disbelief. Then I gazed at the other copies of the sign around. All saying the same thing.
      Then when we were about to leave, someone was driving the wrong way down the parking lot. (You can only drive either down or up the lanes, not both.) Now the arrow clearly marks which way to go. And then there’s the way the parking lines are slanted.
      *Shakes head.* It just makes me wonder.

“My Keyboard!”

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      Giuliano stepped away from his desk at work early in the day. When he got back, his keyboard was gone.
      I’ll try to explain without going into those sticky details. (No pun intended.)
      Basically some coffee got spilled on a wireless keyboard that belonged to another coworker at Giuliano’s workplace. So someone else went to get a replacement. Instead of going to a room where other keyboards are kept, they swiped Giuliano’s keyboard while he was away from his desk.
      Least to say Giuliano was shocked when he got back to his desk. He then went to that room that has spare keyboards and got himself a replacement. Unfortunately the keyboard is older than the one he had.
      Now it’s a working keyboard, which is good. But I mean come on. Who swipes keyboards while someone is not at their desk? Don’t even say anything. Don’t even find that person and ask if they can have it. Just take it. Plus what if that was someone’s personal keyboard? (Meaning that someone bought themselves a keyboard out of their own pocket.) And then the person swiped that.
      I don’t know, but in my little world when you take something without permission, it’s called stealing. I mean geeze! At least have the courtesy to ask if you can have the keyboard. Or if you must have that keyboard because it’s the same type that was damaged, at least replace the person’s keyboard that you’re taking. Don’t just grab, run, and never look back.
      Giuliano and I just find the whole thing irritating. Hopefully the coworker whose keyboard was damaged is having a replacement (better) keyboard ordered for them. Then when the new keyboard comes, Giuliano will get his old keyboard back.

      I’ve heard of people swiping pens, pencils, markers, but keyboards? I guess we have to somehow prevent our keyboards from disappearing while we’re away from our work desks now.

Edit/Update:

      Just when you think it can’t get any better, it does. Giuliano just told me a bit more about this whole situation.
      Apparently the person who took Giuliano’s keyboard tried to clean the keyboard that the coffee spilled on. Then that person tried to give that damaged keyboard to Giuliano to see if it’d work.
      So the person doesn’t clean the keyboard, try it on their PC, and plan to give it to the original owner. They try to pass it off to my boyfriend.
      *Sigh.*

Worst Day Ever

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Well my car broke down.. again. This time it actually died while I was out and about job hunting.
I was in a left turn lane, preparing to turn when the light turned green. Suddenly my engine just died. Just like that. Poof! It was as if the car stalled. I tried to start it again. The car would try to start, but it wouldn’t engage.
So I called Giuliano as I put my emergency blinkers on, put the car in park and put on the break. I opened the hood to check the oil and everything else. At that time a very nice man turned into the street I was on and tried to start my car. He said he thinks it’s something electrical, because the car wants to start but can’t. Then he rolled it in reverse and down a side street so that my car would be out of the way of any traffic.
I checked the car’s fluids. Oil and coolant were both fine. I cried and sighed in disgust.
Now as things go, I was fairly lucky the car broke down where it did. It could have been much worse. The car could have stopped in the middle of an intersection. Or it could have stopped while I was driving downhill, or worse uphill.
Still it cost me $55 for a tow to the nearest car repair shop. They can’t see it until tomorrow though. Even then it’ll cost about $75/hr for labor.
Of course I’m still unemployed. Any remaining money on any credit cards went right to the cost of the tow. Giuliano is down to about $30 after paying bills and mortgage right after getting paid on Tuesday.
So now both of us are asking our families for some emergency money. Least to say this is the worst tax day ever. I can only hope my refund of $400+ will deposit into my checking account soon.

For those who do not know the woes of my car. In the past 15k miles I’ve owned my car I’ve had to replace:
– All 4 tires
– All 4 struts
– Entire exhaust system minus catalytic converter
– AC Condenser
– AC fan
– AC changed to new system
– AC fluid filled and refilled several times. AC still doesn’t work and the AC fluid somehow still leaks out when it’s in a gas form. Stopleak has been used at least twice and it still happens.
– Various other small parts.
So I’ve paid at least $2k work of repairs, not counting regular repairs cars need. I still owe about $1.5k on the car, and I originally paid $3k on it.
Right now I wish I could pay off the car. Then nothing would make me happier than seeing the car launched on a giant catapult, sailing in he sky, plummeting down a cliff, and plunge into a vat of acid.
The car probably went between 100-200 miles since I moved to GA before it broke down today. The damn thing can’t go as much as 1k without something breaking down. Damn piece of crap.

Oh the irony. I need a job for money to pay for car repairs. But if I had a job I wouldn’t be able to get to that job. Or worse I could be stranded several miles from home on a busy highway.
So now I have a revised wish list. For a combo birthday (in early Dec) and Christmas present I want a better car.

Some Deep Thoughts

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Mistakes.
To be human is to know that you are going to make mistakes.
Yet this whole concept has seemed to elude some people.
Why is it that some people have a low tolerance for mistakes? You make a mistake and they yell and scream at you until they turn blue and your pride and self-esteem is shattered.
I know mistakes happen. So my thinking is that, “Okay. There was a mistake. Now how do we fix it?”
Yelling and screaming aren’t going to fix anything. It sure as heck isn’t going to solve anything either. If anything it only makes matters worse. The last thing you should do when a mistake is made is to knock that person down and make them feel miserable about it.
Getting angry about a mistake won’t make it go away. And getting angry won’t change the fact a mistake has happened. The only thing you can do is acknowledge the mistake was made and correct it.
I would approach the situation by solving the mistake myself as quickly as possible. Otherwise I’d approach the person who made the mistake. Maybe I’d say something like, “Hey. I found out there’s an error with this project that you did. Can you go back and fix it for me?”
Mistakes happen. Move on and focus your energy on solving them instead of ranting about them.

Anger.
If you ever get angry at someone you should always apologize about it later.
I had a manager that was having a bad day and he got a bit angry. Then later he approached me and said he was sorry if he appeared angry at me. Then he told me this wasn’t the case and he was just having a bad day. And then he apologized again. That whole event made me see my manager in a better light. I had even more respect for him then I did before.
So that’s how I feel is how people should approach the situation of getting angry with someone. We have bad days or bad moments. We know we shouldn’t take it on other people. If we do, we should face facts and apologize for our anger after we’ve had a chance to cool down.

Forgiveness.
We are all sorry when we’ve done something wrong. So the first thing we want to do is say that we are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes it’s followed up by a request to do something in return to make up for whatever we did wrong.
Now forgiveness is a two-way road. First the person making the mistake has to ask for forgiveness. Then the person who was wronged has to accept the apology offered.
No matter how sorry you are, and how much you work to make it up, you cannot control if and when someone will forgive you. You can be sorry, bow low, weep, and work up their trust again until the day you die, but still that will not control when someone will forgive you. So do not linger on a mistake for the rest of your life. If you have said you are sorry and demonstrated your sorrow then you have done your part.
When someone has made a mistake, asks for forgiveness, and goes to show you how sorry they are, you should forgive them. Actually show and state that you forgive them. Then move on and forget the mistake that was made. If this doesn’t happen, it breaks down the relationship between you and the person who made the mistake. That person will always be fearful of making another mistake. They may avoid you, look downward instead of eye to eye contact, and talk less in fear they’ll provoke you again.

So ask yourself these things.
Have you lately been angry or curt with someone when you shouldn’t have? Have you told them you’re sorry?
Lately has someone asked you for forgiveness for something they did wrong? Did you forgive them?

There is a lot of hatred in the world. There is a lot of anger and sorrow too. Just take a moment to look around. Just look at the news around the world. There is enough hate in this world without having to add to it ourselves.
So instead of adding to the hate, add to the happiness and joy of which there is too little of. If you want to make this world a better place, it starts with the action of each of us. We each decide how we want the world to be by our actions and their reactions.
So next time the moment approaches when you can be angry or forgiving, think of all of the hatred and sorrow in the world. Then make the choice that you know is right.

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